The Art of Not Giving a F*ck

 

Caring about people's opinions drove me to, amongst other things, depression, and low self-esteem, and I realize now that it was all for nothing. At the end of the day, you should only care about what your body, conscience, and soul tell you—within the confines of the law, of course.

Life is too short to be burdened by the unnecessary worries and judgments of others, Kings. Focus on what truly matters—your happiness, your goals, and your growth. Everything else is just noise. And you know what you should do with noise: KILL IT!

Life can feel overwhelming. We often find ourselves bogged down by the opinions and expectations of others, but here's a liberating truth: you don't have to give a f*ck. Let's dive into some practical tips to help you stop caring so much about what others think and start living your life on your terms.

Remember That Everything in Life is Temporary

One of the most comforting thoughts when you're stressed or worried is that everything in life is temporary. The job stressing you out, the argument with a friend, even the opinions people have about you—none of it lasts forever. Embrace the fleeting nature of life, a concept often explored in mindfulness and Buddhist teachings, such as in "The Art of Happiness" by the Dalai Lama and "Wherever You Go, There You Are" by Jon Kabat-Zinn. When you understand that nothing is permanent, letting go of the unnecessary worries that weigh you down becomes easier.

Newsflash: Nobody Actually Gives a F*ck About You Like That

Here's a harsh but freeing truth: most people are too wrapped up in their lives to care deeply about yours. This idea is detailed in Mark Manson's "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck," where he argues that most people are too focused on their own lives to care deeply about yours. They have their own problems, dreams, and insecurities. Realizing this can be incredibly liberating. Stop overthinking how others perceive you. The reality is that they're likely not thinking about you. AT ALL. Use this knowledge to release yourself from the imaginary judgments that hold you back.

Keep in Mind That You're 1 Out of 8 Billion People

You are one person in a vast ocean of humanity. There are 8 billion people on this planet, each with unique stories and struggles. While it's important to value yourself and your experiences, it's equally crucial to recognize that you are a small part of a much larger picture. This perspective, found in many philosophical and self-help texts like "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle and "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl, can help you understand that the world does not revolve around you and that it's okay to prioritize your own needs and happiness.

Focus on Yourself and Your Goals

When you shift your focus from external validation to internal fulfillment, you'll find that other people's opinions matter less. Set clear goals for yourself and work towards them with determination. Books such as "Atomic Habits" by James Clear and "You Are a Badass" by Jen Sincero emphasize the importance of focusing on personal growth and goals. When you are busy building your own life and chasing your dreams, you won't have time to worry about what others think. Your self-worth should come from your achievements and the progress you make, not from the approval of others.

Don't Take Criticism From Someone You Wouldn't Take Advice From

Opinions are like bungholes. Everyone got them. But not all opinions are worth your attention. When someone criticizes you, ask yourself if you would take their advice. If the answer is no, then their criticism holds no value. Focus on constructive feedback from people who genuinely care about your growth and well-being, and ignore the rest. This idea is echoed in "Daring Greatly" by Brené Brown, which discusses the importance of vulnerability and choosing whose opinions matter to you. Remember, not everyone is qualified to judge your life.

Embrace these principles, and you'll discover a new sense of freedom and empowerment.

A Final Note

If you're not following my journey, this might be the last time we cross paths. And that's okay. Life is entirely of fleeting connections and temporary encounters. This sentiment is reminiscent of thoughts expressed in books like "The Alchemist" by Paulo Coelho, which discusses the transient nature of people and experiences in our lives. I wish you all the best on your journey, and I hope you find peace and confidence in it.

Stay Royal, stay Regal, and stop giving a f*ck about what doesn't matter.

Omar Sanda

Sources Cited in the Text

1.       Brown, B. (2012). Daring greatly: How the courage to be vulnerable transforms the way we live, love, parent, and lead. Gotham Books.

2.       Clear, J. (2018). Atomic habits: An easy & proven way to build good habits & break bad ones. Avery.

3.       Coelho, P. (1993). The alchemist (A. R. Clarke, Trans.). HarperOne. (Original work published 1988)

4.       Dalai Lama XIV, & Cutler, H. C. (1998). The art of happiness: A handbook for living. Riverhead Books.

5.       Frankl, V. E. (1959). Man’s search for meaning. Beacon Press.

6.       Kabat‑Zinn, J. (1994). Wherever you go, there you are: Mindfulness meditation in everyday life. Hyperion.

7.       Manson, M. (2016). The subtle art of not giving a f*ck: A counterintuitive approach to living a good life. HarperOne.

8.       Sincero, J. (2013). You are a badass: How to stop doubting your greatness and start living an awesome life. Running Press.

9.       Tolle, E. (2005). A new earth: Awakening to your life’s purpose. Penguin.

Additional Academic & Empirical References

·         Social evaluation & impression management – Leary, M. R., & Kowalski, R. M. (1990). Impression management: A literature review and two‑component model. Psychological Bulletin, 107(1), 34‑47.

·         Self‑esteem costs & mental health – Crocker, J., & Park, L. E. (2004). The costly pursuit of self‑esteem. Psychological Bulletin, 130(3), 392‑414.

·         Low self‑esteem predicting depression – Orth, U., Robins, R. W., & Roberts, B. W. (2008). Low self‑esteem prospectively predicts depression in adolescence and young adulthood. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 95(3), 695‑708.

·         Belongingness & wellbeing – Leary, M. R., & Guadagno, J. (2011). The role of self‑esteem and social status. In R. M. Ryan (Ed.), The Oxford handbook of human motivation (pp. 411‑422). Oxford University Press.

Further Reading & Resources

·         Stoic resilience – Aurelius, M. (ca. 180 CE/2006). Meditations (M. Hays, Trans.). Modern Library.

·         Buddhist self‑compassion – Brach, T. (2003). Radical acceptance. Bantam.

·         Growth vs. validation mindset – Dweck, C. (2006). Mindset: The new psychology of success. Random House.

·         Acceptance & Commitment tools – Harris, R. (2008). The happiness trap. Trumpeter.

·         Adlerian “courage” – Kishimi, I., & Koga, F. (2018). The courage to be disliked (C. Wilson, Trans.). Allen & Unwin.

·         Time‑perspective & priorities – Burkeman, O. (2021). Four thousand weeks: Time management for mortals. Farrar, Straus and Giroux.

·         Mindful productivity – Newport, C. (2019). Digital minimalism: Choosing a focused life in a noisy world. Portfolio.